Friday, August 31, 2012

There's No Work Like Rework

At this moment, my in-laws are on their way and I should be doing something to my house.  Anything would probably be nice.  But I'm not.  I've got a ton of things to do, as always, but here I sit.  Writing to you.

I feel like it's time to give myself a pat on the back because today, I'm pretty proud of myself.

Tomorrow is September 1, nine months since I started this journey.  And it's been a journey, for sure.  It has had its ups and downs.  Fo' sure.

Over the summer, I had been making an extremely minimal effort to eat the right way and do the things I knew I should be doing.  Minimal effort was the maximum effort.  As the summer went on, I saw my weight creeping up and creeping and creeping up.  It was coming back.  Clothes that were on their way out were beginning to fit tightly again...clothes I had rescued from the other side of the closet were betraying me. I felt like a failure and so very shamed.  I wrote about it here back in June.  Except I still wasn't making great progress.

In August, I hit bottom.  Since my post in June, I had gained another five pounds.  In fact, I had gained back half the weight I had lost.  About 12 pounds.  Inches had been put back on.

Hitting bottom meant that between Thursday and Saturday, in one weekend, I ate:

  • Pizza from Pizza Hut
  • Whopper from Burger King (complete with fries and Dr Pepper)
  • Chick-fil-A 
  • Chili's
  • ate until bursting at the local Chinese buffet
  • Hammond's BBQ...the BBQ I love. 
  • Cake for a birthday
  • Pecan pie and ice cream
In that weekend, I think we ate out every meal.  And not well.

Maybe I don't need to say it, but I was sick as a dog.  My stomach hurt so bad.  I had a terrible headache.  My guts were in a terrible uproar.  For some reason, I kept shoveling it in.  Until I was so sick and bloated and miserable that I wanted to cry.  I wanted all that crap out of my system.  

That Sunday, I passed up my favorite donut.  I couldn't eat anything.  Ugh.  I spent that Sunday on a fast because I was so miserable.  I came to the conclusion that what I was doing was literally making me sick. It was more than just the idea that it was bad for me.  It was making things painful for me.  I decided that I could not eat like that anymore.  So I stopped.

Then I started walking with the kids in the morning.    

The good news today is this:  I'm back down 25 pounds.  I had gained back 12 pounds and now I'm back down to my best weight.

Now.  Now I have room to work.  I'm not going to look back and chastise myself and shame myself and feel bad.  I'm going to look forward and continue to be successful.  So when you see my numbers on the side wall there, those are accurate.  I'm still fighting this battle.  I'm not out yet.


  1. I am so proud of you! We go through seasons. I am so deep in my illness right now, but I see the light. You shine brilliantly, G. I'm dusting myself off and getting back in the fight, too. Your honesty is a gift to me and countless others.

  2. So glad you updated. Even though the journey has been bumpy, you are learning valuable lessons along the way. I admire your "stick with it" attitude!



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