Easter Memories and Today's Victory

Y'all won't believe this, but the Easters of my childhood have involved food.  Overcooked ham with brown sugar and mustard glaze, my mom's oven baked macaroni and cheese (always perfect), green beans and corn (straight from the can), rolls and the piece de resistance, lemon meringue ice box pie.  Oh my, how I loved that pie.  It seemed to take so long until it was time for lunch and there was nothing to do at my grandmother's house except stay out of the kitchen and watch King of Kings.

This was all served on my grandmother's green plastic plates, while we sat, scrunched, at the dining room table on chairs covered in plastic, smirking at each other because the overcooked ham was nothing, if not predictable.

And let's not forget the Easter baskets.  Filled full of the candy I loved.  Mom almost always got that right.

It would be safe to say that as an adult, I have tried to incorporate the traditions of my childhood into our holiday celebrations.  Minus the King of Kings.  And hopefully, the overcooked ham.  Except this year, I've been so busy taking care of my recuperating daughter and getting back on track, primally, that I didn't really think about the "special" meal Easter demanded until Saturday night about 10pm when I called my dad to see what he was doing.

And of course, he had a plan.  It was a great plan.  In fact, the best part was that he was willing to bring his plan to my house and leave me with a minimal amount of work to eat said plan.  Except for one problem.  He wanted to me to make a cake.

Oh, yes.  A cake.

After my tongue lashing from Stacey this week, I have been on the straight and narrow.  Because I am worth it.  I thought I could make this cake, a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, without any problems.  I had the box mix in the pantry.  The cake diversion purchased while planning Brian's surprise party.  Making a cake was the least I could do to contribute to a meal that I had nearly zero part preparing.

But I got a text this morning as I was getting ready for church:  Just wanted to encourage you to stick with it - especially on a chocolate covered holiday like today!  I promise you will feel so much control and pride by skipping that cookie today!

Oh.  My.  Word.

I made a decision right then and there.  There would be NO CHOCOLATE CAKE IN THIS HOUSE TODAY.  PERIOD.  I was certainly in control what I was going to eat and serve in my own house.  I would put together a dessert, but it wouldn't be that.  Talk about feeling empowered.  I wanted to feel in control at the end of this day.  Proud.

And then after church, when Brian suggested that we pick up something to eat at Whataburger on the way home before our Easter supper, I said, "Absolutely not.  I am not having a hamburger, fries and a Dr Pepper for lunch."  You gotta know, I love Whataburger.  It's my favorite fast place to get a burger.  But there was no way in the world I was going to eat something from there today.  I was working a Goal for the Day.

So we ended up at Chili's where I know exactly what I can eat.  Which is fine because it's a salad, I love salads, and it's a good one.  When we got home, I prepared my dessert which was NOT chocolate cake.  I made Cinnamon Swirl Muffins and Paleo Banana Bread and they were good, all things considered.  (They were collapsing like crazy.  I think they were still too hot for transporting.  But no matter, they were still good.)    

So another Easter in the books, but this time, I had a major victory over my life.  I am worth it.

And I can do it.

Open Letter to Some Folks Who Mean Well

Dear Weight Watchers, Lane Bryant and the like,

Thanks for everything.  

When I got too big for my britches, for real, you were there.  Either to provide bigger britches or to help me fit into the old ones again.  I haven't always been grateful for your services, but accepted them for what they were.

But the time has come for us to part ways.  I understand, Weight Watchers, that your data and years of having a successful enterprise of aiding people lose weight supports this idea that I am still fat as a fritter and your propaganda is welcome here.  But it ain't.  I've had more success doing this "caveman diet" than I ever did eating your suggested no-fat plastic cheese and analyzing every tiny bite of something that accidentally found its way to my mouth.  You guys would not believe the hunks of meat that I eat now.  And bacon, from a real pig, not a bird.  As much as I want.  So while I appreciate what you did for me in the old days, it's best that I move on now.

Please don't send any more mailers with Jennifer Hudson on them, looking fabooboo.  With the money and resources of celebrities, there should be no reason in the world for them to struggle like I do. She could pay someone named Tiny to punch her in the face every time she ate something off her program.  Most of those people have no idea what's it like to raise a family with 4 kids, have to take those kids to dance and soccer practice, manage homework, and prepare a great, healthy dinner sometime before 9pm.  And that is just the tip of my iceberg.  But I will admit, I know nothing of the pressures of being a celebrity.  All that to say, Jennifer Hudson does not inspire me.  You guys can just consider me "data scatter" and take me off your list.  I'm a Success Story in the Making just not on your program.  

And to my friends at Lane Bryant:

You have a hard job, I'm the first to admit.  It can't possibly be easy to make big people look small.  But we can't go around naked, either, can we?  And that is where you come in.  But I don't think you're doing a good job here.  First of all, your clothes are ridiculously overpriced.  And I would almost say that there are many items that no big person should attempt to wear.  Except there they are, on display, as New Arrivals!  What in the world are you doing to us?  It's hard enough dressing yourself in something "cute" when options are so limited, but then to have the options limited even more by the inappropriateness of the selection?  Save the printing and mailing costs and remove me from your mailing list.  I'm not going to be shopping with you again.  It's not just the price or the style.  There's a bigger reason I'm leaving.  Well, actually, it's a tad bit smaller and shrinking every day.  It's me.  I'm just not gonna need you anymore.  But seriously, you've really got to do something about your offerings.  You are making women everywhere look ridiculous.  

All that said, I do want to thank you.  Both of you.  Sometimes we just don't realize how bad things are until we realize how good they could be.  

Sincerely,

Georgia

Results

Stacey didn't disappoint me yesterday!  She wrote a scathing-ish post on her blog, directed at me.  It definitely found its mark.  Read her advice to me here.  I could barely breathe when I got done reading that.  No one really talks to me like that.  But it's exactly what I needed (and deep down, wanted) to hear.  And I knew she would bring it.  No more pats on the head.

Stop.  Making.  Excuses.

Ummm, ok.

Between yesterday and today, I have lost 1.5 pounds.  I love seeing scale movement!  But today, I did something that I hadn't done since February 1:  I measured.

I figured I had to start somewhere.  Get those numbers back on paper and start the next step of repairing whatever damage I've done (or undone) in the last 2 months.  This is about moving forward, no matter how many steps I take backward.  Always forward.

I was surprised what the tape measure revealed.  

Although I have fallen off the wagon, gotten off track, fill-the-blank with your failure description of choice, there were still results to be seen.  From February 1 to today, I have lost 5 pounds.  It's not great, but it's something.  It's not an overall gain, and I'll take it.  But the most surprising part is that I lost some inches everywhere except one spot in that same time period.  Overall, from February 1 until today, I have lost a total of 4 inches.

Grand total results to date:
Pounds lost:  22
Inches lost:  14.25

I think Stella is getting her groove back.  And it wouldn't be possible without the support and encouragement of all y'all.  Usually, I'll lose a little weight, and then remain permanently in the ditch.   But if Shanon can do it, and is she ever, then by God, I can do it, too!

Shanon, your commitment to this is inspiring me to Press On.

I might even cook something.

Where's the Tough Love?

Good lawdy!  Shanon is rocking the casbah.  For real.  She is down 30 big ones and is under 200.  That is a huge, huge accomplishment.  Those numbers on the scale are so significant.  She deserves every zero point tenths of a pound that is gone.  She is working hard and when she screws it up, she is learning from it and doing her dead level best to move forward.  She is doing this thing.

Ummm, me?  

Well, not so much.  I haven't gained it all back.  I'm sort of maintaining at a 20 pound loss, but I'm definitely struggling.

I keep thinking I'm going to get back on track.  Then something happens.  Insert Chick-Fil-A sandwich and a large Dr Pepper here.  At Wal-Mart, I was like an alcoholic. I could not even look at the bags of Lays Kettle Chips for fear my eyes would rest on the Salt and Vinegar variety.  Then who knows what I'd do...

I've been very silent on our Facebook page and here on the blog, and it's caused me to wonder:  where's my tough love?  Where are the people who should be asking me just what the samhill I'm doing?  I've actually had nothing to report, of course, except I think that Whataburger has better Dr Pepper than most any other place.  

I need some tough love, y'all!  This is hard!  I had a disagreement with Brian.  I stood in front of the refrigerator, trying to solve that problem.  I didn't plan well for meals while he was gone and gone and gone for what seemed like forever.  Actually I didn't plan at all.  Chick-Fil-A, et. al., solved that problem.  I threw a surprise party for Brian's 40th birthday.  Potato salad and a big, beautiful cake was on that menu.  None of that cake went to waste.  (Although I do have the name of a great cake person in this area...)  I went to a conference and had alone-access to one of my favorite restaurants.  "I'll start again on Sunday,"  I told myself.  Every week.  For the last 2 months.

I have found every excuse possible.  And my whole life is a slippery slope!  Brian and I have to be working in complete conjunction because one person stepping off the mark takes the whole train with them.  For real.  We are the worst food enablers.  I clearly need some tough love.  I am frustrated with myself because I could be where Shanon is instead of where I am now.  

Hold me accountable! When I don't post weight updates, ask for them! Someone, anyone, order me to GET. BACK. ON. TRACK.  To stop wallowing in it.  I  need to report to someone.  Stacey Garnett, I think this is a job for you.  I want to do this and I know it can be done.  But I'm working with the same old me and she's been doing things this way for a while now.  Just need a gruff cheerleader.  No more free passes or sympathetic looks.  

Anyone willing to be tough on me?           

I did something today that I never allow myself to do:  I went into a "regular" store.  Like The Limited and Jones New York.  Just to see how it felt.  It kind of reminded me when I was in high school and I was sooooo flat-chested.  And I would try on the padded bras and feel sad about how good I would look if I had some boobs.  

Except this time, it didn't feel sad and pathetic.  It felt doable.    

But I think I'm gonna need to answer to someone first.  

    

      

Quick Update on the Incredible Shrinking Woman

So I'm down almost 30 pounds. I KNOW, right? When I hit the big 30, I'm planning to reward myself. Possibly with a full body massage. And an iTunes gift card. I've told my students that their teacher is actually shrinking this year! They haven't noticed, and my feelings would be hurt, but they're 8. They don't notice much that's not on a video game or television screen. One did say that she could get her arms around me when she hugged me now. I'll take it.

But here are some pics that got me motivated. My phone camera sucks, and I'm too lazy to get the good camera out at this point. When I hit the next goal, I swear I'm totally going to do that. Really.

Before pic, taken in San Francisco with my fabulous writer friends. I felt huge. And I was.

27.4 lbs down from where I started. 2 sizes down. No looking back, no stopping me now!

Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Update

It's time to do a run down on the checklist of Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness. I mean, this whole thing isn't just about losing weight here, right?

First, I had my yearly "female" doctor's visit this last week. Fun stuff. I usually dread the appointment, not because it's THAT kind of physical, but because he makes me stand on his scale and then writes down the Number of Shame that appears. Not this time. His chart showed me down 30 lbs. from my last physical. Less ass for zombies to munch? Check!

Then he took my blood pressure. This number has been astronomical since I had my first child. It shot up during pregnancy, and then that kid has just kept pushing my buttons ever since. Add her sisters into the mix, and the blood pressure cuff weeps with exhaustion when the nurse finally releases me from its grip. This time, it was normal. I mean, not borderline-we'll-ignore-how-close-it-is-to-heart-attack normal, but honest to God normal. For the first time in thirteen years. The doctor had the nurse check it again. I just grinned like the Cheshire Cat. At this point, my doctor leans over and asks, "What the HELL have you been doing?" Y'all have got to know my doctor. We attend the same church and have sung in the choir together. When I first started going to him, he told me to be sure to keep my pants on when I ran into him in the pews on Sunday mornings. ANYWAY, his eyebrows shot above his hairline when he checked my vitals and lab tests. This fat, unhealthy chick is starting to get her groove back. Not collapsing into a heap when the zombies attack? Check!

I am now able to run. I kinda look like Forrest Gump doing it, but I do it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not signing up for the next marathon in my vicinity, but when Satan says, "Run 400 meters for warm up" I don't have to walk while the rest of the class blows past this sad, round, girl. I still finish huffing and puffing like ol' Big Bad, but I finish. Being able to get this butt moving when they crash through the door looking for brains? Check!

And how are we doing on the Looking Good Naked part? Well....I'm not stripping down for the neighbors any time soon (Which is good, since they're old and have round-the-clock assistance. I'd hate to be responsible for the heart failure that would ensue.), but I did wear shorts for the first time in 8 years. In PUBLIC. Real shorts, not 'walking shorts' or capris. My girls couldn't get over it, and kept commenting on how cute mama looked all afternoon. The two youngest are the best for boosting the ego. I keep them around for this purpose. They also loved the fact that we went to a friend's house to swim, and I actually got into my bathing suit and joined them. Without a t-shirt to cover up with. I enjoyed the sun and the water without fearing someone would see me and think Shamu needed to be rolled back into the pool.

So, three months in and I'm about 1/3 of the way to my goal. I still have days when I want to throw my hands up and say, "I give up! Give me a large Butterfinger Blizzard and a large steak finger basket with fries!" But even if I do, I will climb back up on this horse, because I'm riding this bad boy all the way to the end. I will not be the first one eaten in the event that we're attacked by the walking dead. WIN.

Run, Shanon! Run!

Recipes I've Been Meaning to Post

Okay, it's been a while since I've had the time, energy, or motivation to do some primal chick cooking. However, Spring Break has SPRUNG up in here, yo. I've done a little (read-very little) cleaning, some studying, a tiny bit of writing, and I took a whole afternoon to cook some new things! My tummy is full of primal deliciousness, and I'm a happy girl. Now I'm going to go curl up with a good book somewhere and pretend school doesn't start up again on Monday.

CINNAMON SWIRL MUFFINS

Ingredients:

2 1/2 c almond flour

1 tbsp. coconut flour

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

2 eggs

1/2 c plus 1 tbsp coconut milk

1/2 c honey

Topping Ingredients:

2 tbsp. honey

1 tbsp cinnamon

1 tbsp. melted coconut oil

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 325F. Mix together all the dry ingredients. Add the wet ingredients and mix well with a whisk. Divide evenly into 12 muffin cups. You can use muffin liners or wipe your silicone muffin pan with melted coconut oil and use that. They pop right out. Mix the topping ingredients together in a separate bowl and drizzle over the tops of the muffins. Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden brown.

Okay, these smell like heaven when they're cooking. They are moist and chewy, and my girls all loved them. Definitely a win.

Original link here

PALEO MAYONNAISE from Everyday Paleo

Ingredients

2 eggs

1 tsp yellow mustard

2 tbsp. apple cider vinegar

1 tsp sea salt

1/3 tsp cayenne pepper

2 c olive oil (not extra virgin, just plain olive oil)

Directions

Use your food processor or blender for this one, and put on your big girl panties and grow some patience. It's easy, but you have to go sloooooowly.

Mix eggs, mustard, and vinegar in the blender until well mixed. Then, leave the blender or processor running and begin adding oil drop by drop or in a slow drizzle. This takes time, but it will begin to come together. I think all told, it took about 15 minutes or so. When all the oil is added and the mayo has the desired consistency, add in the salt and cayenne.

This made enough to fill two small mason jars and still have enough to make my egg salad recipe. They say it keeps up to a week or so in the fridge. It tasted SO much better than any store bought mayonnaise I've ever had, and there is no soybean oil in it. You can also get creative and add all kinds of things to make sauces or dips.

Originally from Sarah Fragoso's Everyday Paleo. This link will show you a demo of her making the mayo. Visuals are good.

PRIMAL BLUEPRINT TUNA SALAD W/CRANBERRIES

Ingredients

12 oz. tuna packed in water

2 stalks celery, diced

1/4 c. diced red onion

1/4. c homemade mayo

1/2 c. dried cranberries (no sugar added)

salt/pepper to taste

Directions

Mix it up. That's it. It's not neurosurgery up in here or anything here, people.

Originally from The Primal Blueprint cookbook

PRIMAL BLUEPRINT JALAPENO EGG SALAD

Ingredients

6 eggs, boiled, peeled, and chopped

1/2 c homemade mayo

1 jalapeno, seeded and chopped

1 tbsp lemon juice

salt/pepper to taste

Directions

To make the perfect boiled eggs, put raw eggs in a pot and cover them with cold water. Set them on the stove, and turn the heat on medium high. Bring them to a boil, then cover them and turn off the heat. Wait 15 minutes, pour out the hot water and add ice and water to shock them. They peel so easily after this. Seriously. Would I lie?

Again, mix all the ingredients. Voila!

This egg salad isn't overly spicy. It's got a little kick to it, but not mouth-burning. The lemon and jalapeno are a great flavor mix in this. I imagine adding some crumbled bacon into this mixture might be a taste of heaven.

Originally from The Primal Blueprint Cookbook

And if you're wondering what you're going to eat these fabooboo salads on, here's a recipe for a crepe-like wrap that can be used like a tortilla.

SWEET OR SAVORY WRAP

Ingredients

12 eggs (yes, a whole dozen. NO. LIE.)

4 tbsp coconut flour

1/8 tsp sea salt

coconut oil for frying

Directions

In a blender, mix eggs, flour, and salt. The blender takes out all lumps that coconut flour tends to have, especially since you store it in the fridge. Let it sit for a few minutes so the flour will soak up all the egg it will hold. It will look thin.

Heat a tsp of oil on medium-low heat in a nonstick skillet. I have an 8 in. crepe/omelet pan I got for about $15 and it is the BOMB for making these. Add 1/4 c of the batter to the pan and swirl it to coat the bottom of the pan. Let cook for about 2 minutes until batter sets. Carefully flip and cook for about 2 more minutes. Slide into a plate lined with wax paper, cover with another piece, and you can stack them this way as you go.

Flipping these little buggers takes practice. I broke the first 2, but then got the hang of it. A couple of thin spatulas does the trick.

These taste slightly eggy, and I've found a couple of other paleo/primal crepe recipes that use just egg whites or more coconut/almond flour that I may try. These were pretty yummy, though. You can wrap meat and salad greens, tuna salad, or almond butter with strawberries. It's just like a sandwich. NEW lunch ideas! YAY!

Originally from Keeper of the Home website

UPDATE:

I tried a different wrap/crepe recipe and loved it even more. The above recipe is very good, but it is very eggy tasting. This next one is more of a bread/tortilla texture. We had wraps with egg salad last night, and I used them for breakfast burritos this morning. For lunch, girl #3 put leftover pork loin, salad greens, and cheese with some homemade mayo. Fabulous!

Ingredients:

8 egg whites (I used the kind from Egg Beaters, but you could scramble the yolks with some butter and use them as a filling.)

2 tbsp melted butter

4 tbsp coconut flour

1/2 c coconut milk

butter or coconut oil for cooking

Directions:

These directions looked a lot more complicated, but I just threw the egg whites in the blender and got them frothy before adding all the rest of the ingredients. Heat skillet to medium and put in a little bit of oil or butter. Again, this depends on your pan. I have a nonstick that needs very little. Pour about 1/4 cup of the batter into the pan and swirl it to coat the bottom. Cook until the edges start to curl and it bubbles a bit. Using a wide spatula (or two), flip it and cook about a minute longer. These were tougher and easier to turn than the others. They also didn't break when wrapped around a lot of fillings. You could add vanilla and honey to this and make them sweet, but it isn't necessary. We filled some with almond butter, strawberries, and honey for dessert. Worked just fine for us!

The batter looks very thin and white at first.

Beautiful, aren't they? Recipe came from The Primal Blueprint Cookbook.