Thursday, December 4, 2014

I Talk to Myself, and You Should, Too

Alright, alright, alright. After a long hiatus for college degrees, family drama, and just plain insanity, this Primal Chick is back and looking to find my groove again. With the help of a fabooboo ( you know you missed that word in your life) nutritionist and coach, I'm down 12 pounds and 12 inches in the last 6 weeks, and almost 30 lbs since August 1st. I tried other eating programs, but primal just works for me. Without grains and sugar, I don't crave the crap. So, here we are again.

How do we start when we have to go back to the beginning? It's like doing the walk of shame every time I go to the scale; I know I've done wrong and everyone can see it, and it's just a bit humiliating. However, the lessons I've learned over the last year about myself are invaluable. I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had, because now I know. I know the secret of being fantastic. It has nothing to do with scale numbers and tape measures. It's all in how you think about yourself. If you believe you're worth taking care of physically, mentally, and emotionally, you will begin to make changes that show you believe it. Denying our own value causes us to keep doing the things that keep us fat, drunk, and stupid.  And that's no way to go through life. (If you know what movie that comes from, you are old like me.) Okay, maybe not the drunk and stupid part, but the fat, miserable part is definitely there.

August came and I looked in the mirror and wondered why I do this to myself. I started planning meals and going for walks, starting slow and marking my progress. Then I began to journal. Breakthrough! Seriously, it's like having a conversation with yourself, but you learn all kinds of things you never knew. It just comes out on the page and you find yourself thinking, "Huh. I didn't know I felt like that. Who knew?" Writing out all the jillions of things running through my mind helps me get control of what I'm doing.  I glue in things that resonate with me, like "Sister, put down that cheeseburger" and "You have to move your ass if you want it to get any smaller." I highly recommend journaling.

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 It also helped me see the crazy train pattern that I followed for so long. Lose weight, feel good, fall off the wagon, dive into that vat of Ben & Jerry's for a few months, wallow in self pity, beat myself up for all my failings, and begin again. I'm done with that. Let me off at the next station, because I'm not riding that train anymore.

So what should you expect to see here at Primal Chicks'? Recipes, of course, and tips on planning and preparing ahead of time, because that's still the only way to become a healthy, hot mama. I'll discuss exercise (I'm doing a boot camp now that is kicking my butt, but in a good way) and health. And you'll also see posts about the connection between your mental health and your physical well being. I still believe food is our worst poison or our best medicine, depending on how we use it.

If you're still out there reading with your jaw on the ground because a new post magically appeared after eons of nothing but tumbleweeds blowing through here, I hope you'll stick around. I'm restarting this conversation. You know I've got a lot to say. ~Shanon

Friday, August 31, 2012

There's No Work Like Rework

At this moment, my in-laws are on their way and I should be doing something to my house.  Anything would probably be nice.  But I'm not.  I've got a ton of things to do, as always, but here I sit.  Writing to you.

I feel like it's time to give myself a pat on the back because today, I'm pretty proud of myself.

Tomorrow is September 1, nine months since I started this journey.  And it's been a journey, for sure.  It has had its ups and downs.  Fo' sure.

Over the summer, I had been making an extremely minimal effort to eat the right way and do the things I knew I should be doing.  Minimal effort was the maximum effort.  As the summer went on, I saw my weight creeping up and creeping and creeping up.  It was coming back.  Clothes that were on their way out were beginning to fit tightly again...clothes I had rescued from the other side of the closet were betraying me. I felt like a failure and so very shamed.  I wrote about it here back in June.  Except I still wasn't making great progress.

In August, I hit bottom.  Since my post in June, I had gained another five pounds.  In fact, I had gained back half the weight I had lost.  About 12 pounds.  Inches had been put back on.

Hitting bottom meant that between Thursday and Saturday, in one weekend, I ate:

  • Pizza from Pizza Hut
  • Whopper from Burger King (complete with fries and Dr Pepper)
  • Chick-fil-A 
  • Chili's
  • ate until bursting at the local Chinese buffet
  • Hammond's BBQ...the BBQ I love. 
  • Cake for a birthday
  • Pecan pie and ice cream
In that weekend, I think we ate out every meal.  And not well.

Maybe I don't need to say it, but I was sick as a dog.  My stomach hurt so bad.  I had a terrible headache.  My guts were in a terrible uproar.  For some reason, I kept shoveling it in.  Until I was so sick and bloated and miserable that I wanted to cry.  I wanted all that crap out of my system.  

That Sunday, I passed up my favorite donut.  I couldn't eat anything.  Ugh.  I spent that Sunday on a fast because I was so miserable.  I came to the conclusion that what I was doing was literally making me sick. It was more than just the idea that it was bad for me.  It was making things painful for me.  I decided that I could not eat like that anymore.  So I stopped.

Then I started walking with the kids in the morning.    

The good news today is this:  I'm back down 25 pounds.  I had gained back 12 pounds and now I'm back down to my best weight.

Now.  Now I have room to work.  I'm not going to look back and chastise myself and shame myself and feel bad.  I'm going to look forward and continue to be successful.  So when you see my numbers on the side wall there, those are accurate.  I'm still fighting this battle.  I'm not out yet.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Hide Yo' Recipes, I'm Stealin' Everything Up in Here!

Okay, new recipes! I refer to them as stolen, because I have just not had the time to be a domestic goddess this summer. I DO have that potential, though. If someone would just pay me to stay home and cook, I know I’d be just darling at it. I am including a couple of paleo/primal dessert recipes. I feel the need to post a warning with these, though. Just because they’re grain and sugar free doesn’t mean they’re the best food choice you can make. They are healthier, but still meant as an occasional treat. Moderation is your friend. Got it? Okay then, enjoy!

Pizza Frittata

12 eggs
Tomato sauce-I make my own (so easy), but if you can find some made without sugar or additives, go for it
Italian seasoning
Fresh mozzarella- buy it whole and shred it yourself. They coat that preshredded stuff with cellulose. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds nasty.
Toppings of your choice- peppers, onions, olives, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, whatever.

Frittatas are fantastic, easy meals that feed a bunch with very little work. They’re also pretty cheap, so yay for that. I’ve got six people in my house that demand weird things like meals everyday. The nerve! Anyway, you need a nonstick pan that can also go in the oven for these. Actually, you need one for a lot of recipes, so just go invest in one. You won’t be sorry.
First, heat the pan on the stove on medium heat and preheat the oven to 375F. You can add a little oil or butter if you want, but if your pan is nonstick, you don’t really need it. If you're using sausage or meat, browning it in the pan first and removing it gives you some tasty oil to use! Scramble up the eggs until frothy, and then pour into the pan. Let it sit and cook for about 4-5 minutes. If you don’t let it set up, the toppings will sink to the bottom. When it looks almost cooked through (like an omelet), turn off the stove, sprinkle the frittata with Italian seasoning, and spread the tomato sauce over the top. Add toppings and cheese, and then move it into the oven. Bake just long enough to melt the cheese and heat the toppings (about 5 minutes). Cut into wedges and enjoy. This is even good reheated, and can be frozen. You can top a frittata with just about anything, so try it with chicken and red onion with smoked cheddar. I think smoked salmon and dill with goat cheese might be fabooboo, too. If you’re dairy free, leave off the cheese. Just experiment!
I took this picture. My pan is made by Berndes, and I've had it for AGES. I think it was an incentive from work when I worked in a gourmet kitchen shop twenty years ago. Holy crap, I'm old.

Pizza Crusts

Speaking of pizza, I have two different crusts I’ve used. One is primal, and is made of cheese. It’s unbelievably good. The other is paleo, and dairy free. It’s good, too. It just depends on your personal preferences as to which you’ll like better. Both require parchment paper, and I’ve found it comes in handy for other recipes, too. So, like the pan I mentioned above, it’s worth having some in the house.

Cheese crust ingredients:
2 c shredded mozzarella
1c shredded Cheddar
3 eggs
1tsp garlic powder
1tsp Basil

Preheat the oven to 450F. Mix ingredients together in a large bowl. Spread thinly on a 16 in. pizza pan or small rectangular cookie sheet lined with greased parchment paper. Bake for 15-20 min. Check after 10 min. If the edges start to get too dark, turn it back to 400. It needs to be golden brown and crispy. Take it out, top it, and broil for a few minutes. Done. Yummy!  I also make several individual pizza crusts with this recipe and store them until the kids want pizza for lunch. They freeze well. I get about 6 small crusts per recipe. These are really close to a thin crust pizza. It’s crunchy and sturdy enough to be held in your hand instead of having to use a fork.

Coconut Flour crust ingredients:
3 eggs
1 c water or coconut milk
½ c coconut flour
Italian seasoning
garlic powder

Preheat oven to 385F. Mix the eggs and water or milk together. Slowly pour it into the flour and mix well. Add the spices to your taste. This should form a batter a bit like pancake batter. If it's thick and sticky, add more liquid. Pour over parchment paper (A MUST!) in metal pan of your choice. Bake for 25 minutes at 385F, check. It should be getting brown, maybe even a bit scorched on edges. You may have to bake longer, depends on your oven. Remove when golden brown. Add sauce, toppings, and spices to taste. I use Italian seasoning mix, covering the top of the crust after adding about 4 oz. of tomato sauce. Then add the toppings and cheese, if you use it, baking at 375F until cheese melts or toppings are heated through. This recipe is from my friend Brian, who has been primal WAY longer than I have. He’s gotten this thing down to an art form. When he sends a recipe and says, “Try this!” I know it’s going to be good. This crust can also be topped with ham or turkey and veggies and eaten like an open-faced sandwich. A little paleo mayo and you’re gold. You’re welcome.
 This is the cheese crust. I think I need to go make some. Now. Don't you love my fine china?

Spicy Chicken Legs

6 chicken drumsticks-free range, if you can.
2 tsp Chili powder
3 Tbsp olive oil
1- 1 ½ tsp sea salt
¾ tsp ground black pepper
½ tsp ground coriander
1 tsp ground cumin
½ tsp ground cinnamon

Preheat the oven to 450F. In a medium bowl, combine 1 Tbsp of the oil with the spices, salt, and pepper. Mix them to make a paste. Add the drumsticks and rub the spice paste over them, making sure to coat them thoroughly. Set them aside. On the stove, put a large ovenproof pan over medium heat. Allow the pan to heat up for 45 seconds or so before adding the other 2 Tbsp of olive oil. Heating the pan first before adding oil helps prevent sticking. Heat the oil for about 30 seconds before adding the drumsticks. Brown both sides of the chicken for about 3-4 minutes per side. Once you are done browning the drumsticks, put a lid on the pan and put them in the oven. Bake for 25 minutes.

These aren’t super hot, but they’ve got a great kick to them. I got some shredded cabbage, tossed it with a little diced pineapple, olive oil, and green onion, and served the chicken with that. My girls loved this, which means it is a “make again” meal.
 Originally found on Just look at the spices on that. My mouth is watering. 

Lettuce Wraps

This is my new favorite lunch idea. Go get a package of those huge romaine lettuce leaves. Our HEB carries them already cleaned and stacked up, ready to go. Fill these with whatever your little heart desires. At the moment, I am obsessed with roast turkey, pear, walnuts, blue cheese, and dried cranberries. I’ve also used leftover pulled pork and broccoli slaw. Avocado with turkey and tomato is the bomb. Dice up chicken breast, add some matchstick carrots and sprouts, throw on some gluten free soy sauce, and add some chilies. Thai! Really, the variety is endless. It’s also a great way to use leftovers. Those chicken legs I posted above? Tear the meat off the bones and throw them in a wrap the next day with some of the pineapple cabbage salad I mentioned. Lunch in minutes, just like a sandwich but without the gut-killing grains and sugar. Woo hoo!
 Seriously, doesn't this look refreshing? It's hot outside at my house right now, y'all. If I can make something this fabooboo without turning on the stove, I'm going for it.

Paleo Brownies

1 cup Dark Chocolate Chips (65% or more) or Enjoy Life Chips
1/2 cup canned full fat coconut milk
1 1/4 cups almond flour
1/2 cup shredded coconut
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup sliced almonds


Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt chocolate and coconut milk in a small saucepan over low heat. Once the chocolate is completely melted, remove from the heat. Add the chocolate and coconut milk to a mixing bowl, add in the eggs and mix well.  Now add in the almond flour, baking powder, and sea salt. Next, add in the shredded coconut and continue to mix. Grease an 8×8 baking dish with coconut oil. Pour batter into the baking dish then sprinkle with 1/2 cup of sliced almond over the top. Get a small handful of shredded coconut and sprinkle over the top, as well. Bake for 25-35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle of the cake comes out clean.  Slice them into squares, and you have brownies. You can also find a paleo frosting recipe (they are out there, and delicious) and simply ice the thing and serve it as a cake.
We’ve made these for parties and things, and nobody ever guesses they’re paleo brownies. They are ridiculously rich. Like I said, this is a fantastic occasional treat. If you’re celebrating a birthday and want to avoid the awful sugar headache that will now accompany the craptastic, sugar and grain-based cakes traditionally served, go with this instead. If you’re really craving sweets and it’s come down to these or hitting up the local bakery for a dozen cream puffs, make these. Just don’t have them for breakfast every day.
Originally found on You don't have to top it with the coconut, but don't leave it out of the batter. It helps hold it together. These are so rich, I really can only eat just one. At a time. :)

Paleo Chocolate Chip Cookies


1 1/2 cups sifted blanched almond flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
2 tablespoons coconut oil, melted (melted, not softened)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 whole egg
1/2 cup Enjoy Life chocolate chips, or dark chocolate (at least 73%) chips.


In a bowl, mix your almond flour, baking soda, and sea salt. In a separate bowl mix together your melted coconut oil, vanilla extract, room temperature maple syrup, and room temperature egg (It makes a difference, I swear). Incorporate your wet ingredients into your dry ingredients, and then add your chocolate chips.
After everything is mixed, preheat your oven to 350F and refrigerate your batter for 30 minutes.
Once the 30 minutes are up and your oven is heated, line a cookie sheet with parchment paper (see, I said you needed some!) and roll your dough into even balls-to whichever size you desire. I made mine pretty small, about silver dollar size.
Put them in the oven for about 5-7 minutes, then take them out and slightly flatten them with the back of a spatula. Put them back in the oven for about 5 more minutes, or until they look done. Take them out RIGHT when you see just a hint of golden brown. If you do that, they won’t look done, but they are-and they’ll be soft and chewy. Even after they’ve cooled off!  Remove from the oven and set on the counter to cool.
These taste almost exactly like regular chocolate chip cookies. They have a slightly nutty texture, and would be great with chopped pecans in them. This recipe makes about a dozen cookies, depending on the size you make them. The best thing is they DO NOT trigger cravings, and you can stop with one or two without devouring the entire batch. Same with the brownies. It truly is the flour and sugar in those things that gets you, and not the chocolate. That’s the best news ever. 
Originally found on A glass of unsweetened vanilla almond milk goes with these PERFECTLY. The occasional splurge doesn't have to poison you. I keep telling myself this. 

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Mad Ramblings of an Addict

There are many places this post could start, but I feel it’s always best to “start at the beginning. And when you get to the end, stop.” There’s a little Tweedle Dum logic for you. I actually feel a certain kinship with Tweedle Dum. Poor dude’s a little whacked out, living in a crazy place, having to deal with the pressure of the Red Queen. Life’s stressful.  I feel ya, brother.

ANYWAY, I’d love to say I’m over halfway to my goal and getting fitter and stronger with each passing week. I’d love to say it, but it’s not true. I’m hanging in there. I’m battling the same six pounds I’ve been working on since May. Summer has not been my friend. At first, I couldn’t understand it. I was workin’ it! Primal eating had become second nature! Exercise wasn’t just something I watched them do on The Biggest Loser while I ate my ice cream! So what happened? Addiction. Addiction raised its big iron fist and slapped me down hard. I’m still trying to get my feet back under me.

Before you get all hopped up about drug dependency and how different it is from this, let me clarify the situation. Drugs can kill you. So can food. It’s just a slower way to go. Instead of riding the meth rocket and burning out like Lindsay Lohan, you take the Slowpoke Rodriguez route. Either way, you still die. With my way, you get to die with all your teeth. That’s about it.

The downhill slide began in June. The school year ended, and being the glutton for punishment that I am, I enrolled in graduate school. I haven’t been in school for thirteen years. I can write fiction stories all day, but organizing an analytical paper? Studying? Doing research? Um. Yeah. Not in the repertoire of mad skillz I possess. At least not at the moment. Each morning I’d log in to my online courses, get overwhelmed with the amount of work I didn’t even know how to begin, and log out. Eventually, I was wound tighter than Beyonce’s weave. This did not bode well for me. If I could be a super hero, I would be Anxiety Girl. Even every day stresses tend to set me off, but something like this felt like a truck on my chest. I had no time for food prep. I dropped exercise because I was too ‘busy’ with school. I was beginning to find it hard to breathe. I needed relief. Without even thinking about it, I turned to my old coping mechanism. I pulled into the fast food drive through, ordered, and dug into greasy, sugar and carb-loaded junk food. I felt the tension slip away as I numbed myself to the stress weighing on my shoulders. I’d gotten my fix.

The fact that I was using a substance to manipulate my emotions didn’t occur to me until later this summer. I’d feel guilty for ‘falling off the wagon’, promise myself to go strictly primal, and try to pull myself together. It would work for a little while, or at least until the next six-page paper assignment, complete with citations and footnotes, arrived in the email.  Then I’d be driving around looking for something to ease my nerves. My dealers aren’t hard to find. Most addicts have to search out a dude with saggy pants and a mouth full of gold.  I roll up looking for Sonic or Burger King. I can find them on every corner, and my fix is fast and cheap. Unfortunately, once sugar and grains are back in your system, they trigger those cravings. Before I knew it, I was well and truly hooked once again. I still didn’t understand what was going on.

Here’s where the guilt began to add to the stress I felt. I shouldn’t be eating this junk. Hadn’t I posted about the dangers of eating that crap on my blog and FaceBook page? I know what it does to my body! So why didn’t I have enough willpower to stop and get myself back on track? Feeling depressed and discouraged, I embarked on a fabulous downward spiral of blame and self-loathing. That’s definitely not a ride they offer in Disney. I don’t recommend it or the tilt-o-whirl of disappointment. I kept thinking, I should be stronger than this. I was wasting all my hard work. What kind of example was I setting for my girls, or even the people watching me as I followed this journey toward health? I just didn’t understand what was happening.

It finally clicked for me one afternoon. I had five assignments due that week, on top of the fifteen articles and three chapters I had to read. Anxiety gripped me in its jaws and shook me like a dog’s chew toy. Chest tight, blood pounding in my ears, I got in the car. Five minutes later, I sat in the front seat shoving French fries in my face, slurping on a shake, and sighing as the familiar feeling of numbness washed over me again.  I could breathe again. Then it hit me. I used food like a drug. Not good, healthy, primal food, but the addictive poisoning kind of crap nobody should be putting into her body. Thinking about it, I can see the pattern of abuse since I was sixteen years old. If I have an emotion I don’t want to feel, I bury it under a cheeseburger and Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Food had become more than just nourishment for my body. It had morphed into this twisted method of stuffing my emotions down until I couldn’t feel them anymore. 

Now that I understand what I’m doing, it’s a little easier to try to control the impulse to binge on bad foods. But like any addict, I’m going to have relapses. This last week, my neighbor’s tree fell on my house. While it didn’t cause major damage, I still have to work with insurance adjusters, contractors, and tree people. The weekend contained fried chicken strips, fries, and two trips to get ice cream. Damn. But as of today, my refrigerator is stocked with primal goodness, I’ve gotten a planner to keep myself organized for school, and I’m back at CrossFit. Maybe Satan can help me work out some of this anxiety! At least that's a healthier coping mechanism. Standing still has gotten me nowhere, so I’m moving forward. Because if I keep doing what I’ve been doing, I’m not going to get better. As Tweedle Dum would say, “That’s logic.”

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Fickle as a Fritter and Scale Superstitions

I got an email from Blogger that said if we didn't write something soon, we would be off the air.

Not really.

Our family is the beginning the process of building a new house and as such, we've been exposed to much talk about what is "standard" and what is an "upgrade".  Usually, as an excuse, the "I've been very busy" would come standard.  The "I'm humiliated and ashamed because Shanon is doing better than me because she's working harder than me and I still like cake and brownies and buns" would be the upgrade.

But on this blog, the upgrade is included!  We don't charge more for shame and humiliation!  That's the Two Primal Chicks difference!

It's not as bad as it could be.  I'm up 7.5 pounds from my lowest weight.  But I have a plan.  I'm going to actually update my weight tracker to reflect where I am.  And I'm not in competition with Shanon and she is not in competition with me.  I fully support my sister-in-weight as she is toughing it out.  Personally, I am experiencing a funk.  People who know me well know this is a common place for me.  The "leave me alone, I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone or do anything" funk.  And if you know the funk, you know the funk affects everything.    

But, thank da Lord, I haven't had The Fog.

Last time, I wanted accountability, but I wasn't in a funk.  See the difference?  That's the Whiny Baby Funk difference.

Now.  How do you feel about your scale?  What if you were endeavoring to try and lose a lot of weight?  Would you get a new scale in the middle of the process?

I asked this question on Facebook and I'm wondering if I'm the only Scale Type A in the bunch.  Dance with the one who brung ya, I say.  What if the new scale is 5 pounds off?  Seriously?  Five pounds is a lot!  It's not like going to the doctor where you know their scale is going to be off 5# and so you just deal with it because it's not the "real" weight that counts.  (Nobody counts the weight at the doctor's office.)  But the scale where you weigh every morning, step 3 of your weighing-in routine, must be accurate!  This is a no-brainer!

Which is why it surprised me when my husband insisted we needed a new scale.  When I had already lost 20-something pounds!  A new scale was just going to mess me all up!  But he may have said some things that were true, but felt like a guilt trip so I bought a new scale.  Except now we have 2 scales.

We live in a teeny tiny townhouse.  Twelve hundred square feet for 6 people.  (Which is why we are getting a new house.)  All but 2 feet in front of the sink is taken up with our scales.  Brian is good.  He only weighs on his scale.  He is happy with the scale I purchased for him.  That scale is for people like him.

But me?  I weigh on both.  That's right.  One weight is the real one. (My scale.)   The other is for comparison.  I'm a dork, I know.

It comes standard.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Easter Memories and Today's Victory

Y'all won't believe this, but the Easters of my childhood have involved food.  Overcooked ham with brown sugar and mustard glaze, my mom's oven baked macaroni and cheese (always perfect), green beans and corn (straight from the can), rolls and the piece de resistance, lemon meringue ice box pie.  Oh my, how I loved that pie.  It seemed to take so long until it was time for lunch and there was nothing to do at my grandmother's house except stay out of the kitchen and watch King of Kings.

This was all served on my grandmother's green plastic plates, while we sat, scrunched, at the dining room table on chairs covered in plastic, smirking at each other because the overcooked ham was nothing, if not predictable.

And let's not forget the Easter baskets.  Filled full of the candy I loved.  Mom almost always got that right.

It would be safe to say that as an adult, I have tried to incorporate the traditions of my childhood into our holiday celebrations.  Minus the King of Kings.  And hopefully, the overcooked ham.  Except this year, I've been so busy taking care of my recuperating daughter and getting back on track, primally, that I didn't really think about the "special" meal Easter demanded until Saturday night about 10pm when I called my dad to see what he was doing.

And of course, he had a plan.  It was a great plan.  In fact, the best part was that he was willing to bring his plan to my house and leave me with a minimal amount of work to eat said plan.  Except for one problem.  He wanted to me to make a cake.

Oh, yes.  A cake.

After my tongue lashing from Stacey this week, I have been on the straight and narrow.  Because I am worth it.  I thought I could make this cake, a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, without any problems.  I had the box mix in the pantry.  The cake diversion purchased while planning Brian's surprise party.  Making a cake was the least I could do to contribute to a meal that I had nearly zero part preparing.

But I got a text this morning as I was getting ready for church:  Just wanted to encourage you to stick with it - especially on a chocolate covered holiday like today!  I promise you will feel so much control and pride by skipping that cookie today!

Oh.  My.  Word.

I made a decision right then and there.  There would be NO CHOCOLATE CAKE IN THIS HOUSE TODAY.  PERIOD.  I was certainly in control what I was going to eat and serve in my own house.  I would put together a dessert, but it wouldn't be that.  Talk about feeling empowered.  I wanted to feel in control at the end of this day.  Proud.

And then after church, when Brian suggested that we pick up something to eat at Whataburger on the way home before our Easter supper, I said, "Absolutely not.  I am not having a hamburger, fries and a Dr Pepper for lunch."  You gotta know, I love Whataburger.  It's my favorite fast place to get a burger.  But there was no way in the world I was going to eat something from there today.  I was working a Goal for the Day.

So we ended up at Chili's where I know exactly what I can eat.  Which is fine because it's a salad, I love salads, and it's a good one.  When we got home, I prepared my dessert which was NOT chocolate cake.  I made Cinnamon Swirl Muffins and Paleo Banana Bread and they were good, all things considered.  (They were collapsing like crazy.  I think they were still too hot for transporting.  But no matter, they were still good.)    

So another Easter in the books, but this time, I had a major victory over my life.  I am worth it.

And I can do it.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Open Letter to Some Folks Who Mean Well

Dear Weight Watchers, Lane Bryant and the like,

Thanks for everything.  

When I got too big for my britches, for real, you were there.  Either to provide bigger britches or to help me fit into the old ones again.  I haven't always been grateful for your services, but accepted them for what they were.

But the time has come for us to part ways.  I understand, Weight Watchers, that your data and years of having a successful enterprise of aiding people lose weight supports this idea that I am still fat as a fritter and your propaganda is welcome here.  But it ain't.  I've had more success doing this "caveman diet" than I ever did eating your suggested no-fat plastic cheese and analyzing every tiny bite of something that accidentally found its way to my mouth.  You guys would not believe the hunks of meat that I eat now.  And bacon, from a real pig, not a bird.  As much as I want.  So while I appreciate what you did for me in the old days, it's best that I move on now.

Please don't send any more mailers with Jennifer Hudson on them, looking fabooboo.  With the money and resources of celebrities, there should be no reason in the world for them to struggle like I do. She could pay someone named Tiny to punch her in the face every time she ate something off her program.  Most of those people have no idea what's it like to raise a family with 4 kids, have to take those kids to dance and soccer practice, manage homework, and prepare a great, healthy dinner sometime before 9pm.  And that is just the tip of my iceberg.  But I will admit, I know nothing of the pressures of being a celebrity.  All that to say, Jennifer Hudson does not inspire me.  You guys can just consider me "data scatter" and take me off your list.  I'm a Success Story in the Making just not on your program.  

And to my friends at Lane Bryant:

You have a hard job, I'm the first to admit.  It can't possibly be easy to make big people look small.  But we can't go around naked, either, can we?  And that is where you come in.  But I don't think you're doing a good job here.  First of all, your clothes are ridiculously overpriced.  And I would almost say that there are many items that no big person should attempt to wear.  Except there they are, on display, as New Arrivals!  What in the world are you doing to us?  It's hard enough dressing yourself in something "cute" when options are so limited, but then to have the options limited even more by the inappropriateness of the selection?  Save the printing and mailing costs and remove me from your mailing list.  I'm not going to be shopping with you again.  It's not just the price or the style.  There's a bigger reason I'm leaving.  Well, actually, it's a tad bit smaller and shrinking every day.  It's me.  I'm just not gonna need you anymore.  But seriously, you've really got to do something about your offerings.  You are making women everywhere look ridiculous.  

All that said, I do want to thank you.  Both of you.  Sometimes we just don't realize how bad things are until we realize how good they could be.