Thursday, December 4, 2014
How do we start when we have to go back to the beginning? It's like doing the walk of shame every time I go to the scale; I know I've done wrong and everyone can see it, and it's just a bit humiliating. However, the lessons I've learned over the last year about myself are invaluable. I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had, because now I know. I know the secret of being fantastic. It has nothing to do with scale numbers and tape measures. It's all in how you think about yourself. If you believe you're worth taking care of physically, mentally, and emotionally, you will begin to make changes that show you believe it. Denying our own value causes us to keep doing the things that keep us fat, drunk, and stupid. And that's no way to go through life. (If you know what movie that comes from, you are old like me.) Okay, maybe not the drunk and stupid part, but the fat, miserable part is definitely there.
August came and I looked in the mirror and wondered why I do this to myself. I started planning meals and going for walks, starting slow and marking my progress. Then I began to journal. Breakthrough! Seriously, it's like having a conversation with yourself, but you learn all kinds of things you never knew. It just comes out on the page and you find yourself thinking, "Huh. I didn't know I felt like that. Who knew?" Writing out all the jillions of things running through my mind helps me get control of what I'm doing. I glue in things that resonate with me, like "Sister, put down that cheeseburger" and "You have to move your ass if you want it to get any smaller." I highly recommend journaling.
It also helped me see the crazy train pattern that I followed for so long. Lose weight, feel good, fall off the wagon, dive into that vat of Ben & Jerry's for a few months, wallow in self pity, beat myself up for all my failings, and begin again. I'm done with that. Let me off at the next station, because I'm not riding that train anymore.
So what should you expect to see here at Primal Chicks'? Recipes, of course, and tips on planning and preparing ahead of time, because that's still the only way to become a healthy, hot mama. I'll discuss exercise (I'm doing a boot camp now that is kicking my butt, but in a good way) and health. And you'll also see posts about the connection between your mental health and your physical well being. I still believe food is our worst poison or our best medicine, depending on how we use it.
If you're still out there reading with your jaw on the ground because a new post magically appeared after eons of nothing but tumbleweeds blowing through here, I hope you'll stick around. I'm restarting this conversation. You know I've got a lot to say. ~Shanon
Friday, August 31, 2012
I feel like it's time to give myself a pat on the back because today, I'm pretty proud of myself.
Tomorrow is September 1, nine months since I started this journey. And it's been a journey, for sure. It has had its ups and downs. Fo' sure.
Over the summer, I had been making an extremely minimal effort to eat the right way and do the things I knew I should be doing. Minimal effort was the maximum effort. As the summer went on, I saw my weight creeping up and creeping and creeping up. It was coming back. Clothes that were on their way out were beginning to fit tightly again...clothes I had rescued from the other side of the closet were betraying me. I felt like a failure and so very shamed. I wrote about it here back in June. Except I still wasn't making great progress.
In August, I hit bottom. Since my post in June, I had gained another five pounds. In fact, I had gained back half the weight I had lost. About 12 pounds. Inches had been put back on.
Hitting bottom meant that between Thursday and Saturday, in one weekend, I ate:
- Pizza from Pizza Hut
- Whopper from Burger King (complete with fries and Dr Pepper)
- ate until bursting at the local Chinese buffet
- Hammond's BBQ...the BBQ I love.
- Cake for a birthday
- Pecan pie and ice cream
The good news today is this: I'm back down 25 pounds. I had gained back 12 pounds and now I'm back down to my best weight.
Now. Now I have room to work. I'm not going to look back and chastise myself and shame myself and feel bad. I'm going to look forward and continue to be successful. So when you see my numbers on the side wall there, those are accurate. I'm still fighting this battle. I'm not out yet.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
1c shredded Cheddar
1tsp garlic powder
This is the cheese crust. I think I need to go make some. Now. Don't you love my fine china?
Originally found on jogogym.com. Just look at the spices on that. My mouth is watering.
Seriously, doesn't this look refreshing? It's hot outside at my house right now, y'all. If I can make something this fabooboo without turning on the stove, I'm going for it.
Originally found on paleomg.com. You don't have to top it with the coconut, but don't leave it out of the batter. It helps hold it together. These are so rich, I really can only eat just one. At a time. :)
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Our family is the beginning the process of building a new house and as such, we've been exposed to much talk about what is "standard" and what is an "upgrade". Usually, as an excuse, the "I've been very busy" would come standard. The "I'm humiliated and ashamed because Shanon is doing better than me because she's working harder than me and I still like cake and brownies and buns" would be the upgrade.
But on this blog, the upgrade is included! We don't charge more for shame and humiliation! That's the Two Primal Chicks difference!
It's not as bad as it could be. I'm up 7.5 pounds from my lowest weight. But I have a plan. I'm going to actually update my weight tracker to reflect where I am. And I'm not in competition with Shanon and she is not in competition with me. I fully support my sister-in-weight as she is toughing it out. Personally, I am experiencing a funk. People who know me well know this is a common place for me. The "leave me alone, I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone or do anything" funk. And if you know the funk, you know the funk affects everything.
But, thank da Lord, I haven't had The Fog.
Last time, I wanted accountability, but I wasn't in a funk. See the difference? That's the Whiny Baby Funk difference.
Now. How do you feel about your scale? What if you were endeavoring to try and lose a lot of weight? Would you get a new scale in the middle of the process?
I asked this question on Facebook and I'm wondering if I'm the only Scale Type A in the bunch. Dance with the one who brung ya, I say. What if the new scale is 5 pounds off? Seriously? Five pounds is a lot! It's not like going to the doctor where you know their scale is going to be off 5# and so you just deal with it because it's not the "real" weight that counts. (Nobody counts the weight at the doctor's office.) But the scale where you weigh every morning, step 3 of your weighing-in routine, must be accurate! This is a no-brainer!
Which is why it surprised me when my husband insisted we needed a new scale. When I had already lost 20-something pounds! A new scale was just going to mess me all up! But he may have said some things that were true, but felt like a guilt trip so I bought a new scale. Except now we have 2 scales.
We live in a teeny tiny townhouse. Twelve hundred square feet for 6 people. (Which is why we are getting a new house.) All but 2 feet in front of the sink is taken up with our scales. Brian is good. He only weighs on his scale. He is happy with the scale I purchased for him. That scale is for people like him.
But me? I weigh on both. That's right. One weight is the real one. (My scale.) The other is for comparison. I'm a dork, I know.
It comes standard.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
This was all served on my grandmother's green plastic plates, while we sat, scrunched, at the dining room table on chairs covered in plastic, smirking at each other because the overcooked ham was nothing, if not predictable.
And let's not forget the Easter baskets. Filled full of the candy I loved. Mom almost always got that right.
It would be safe to say that as an adult, I have tried to incorporate the traditions of my childhood into our holiday celebrations. Minus the King of Kings. And hopefully, the overcooked ham. Except this year, I've been so busy taking care of my recuperating daughter and getting back on track, primally, that I didn't really think about the "special" meal Easter demanded until Saturday night about 10pm when I called my dad to see what he was doing.
And of course, he had a plan. It was a great plan. In fact, the best part was that he was willing to bring his plan to my house and leave me with a minimal amount of work to eat said plan. Except for one problem. He wanted to me to make a cake.
Oh, yes. A cake.
After my tongue lashing from Stacey this week, I have been on the straight and narrow. Because I am worth it. I thought I could make this cake, a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, without any problems. I had the box mix in the pantry. The cake diversion purchased while planning Brian's surprise party. Making a cake was the least I could do to contribute to a meal that I had nearly zero part preparing.
But I got a text this morning as I was getting ready for church: Just wanted to encourage you to stick with it - especially on a chocolate covered holiday like today! I promise you will feel so much control and pride by skipping that cookie today!
Oh. My. Word.
I made a decision right then and there. There would be NO CHOCOLATE CAKE IN THIS HOUSE TODAY. PERIOD. I was certainly in control what I was going to eat and serve in my own house. I would put together a dessert, but it wouldn't be that. Talk about feeling empowered. I wanted to feel in control at the end of this day. Proud.
And then after church, when Brian suggested that we pick up something to eat at Whataburger on the way home before our Easter supper, I said, "Absolutely not. I am not having a hamburger, fries and a Dr Pepper for lunch." You gotta know, I love Whataburger. It's my favorite fast place to get a burger. But there was no way in the world I was going to eat something from there today. I was working a Goal for the Day.
So we ended up at Chili's where I know exactly what I can eat. Which is fine because it's a salad, I love salads, and it's a good one. When we got home, I prepared my dessert which was NOT chocolate cake. I made Cinnamon Swirl Muffins and Paleo Banana Bread and they were good, all things considered. (They were collapsing like crazy. I think they were still too hot for transporting. But no matter, they were still good.)
So another Easter in the books, but this time, I had a major victory over my life. I am worth it.
And I can do it.